Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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