Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
