i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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