when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
