her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
