He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
