OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
