he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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