Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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