I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize