Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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