Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
They took my balls.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
