i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
