How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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