Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
