I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
