He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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