Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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