somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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