...so i touched it.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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