I didn't shave. On purpose
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
