i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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