It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
