...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
