All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
