you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
