i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
