my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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