did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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