I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize