"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
