just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
