i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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