I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize