Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
In America we eat man semen.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
