if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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