you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
