So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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