do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
