somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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