Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
