miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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