its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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