I just made out with a guy for $7.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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