haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
