I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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