so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
