Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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