If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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