thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My sheets look like a crime scene.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
