No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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