i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
