I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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