Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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