Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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