Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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