we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
