And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
two words...techno handjob
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize