just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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