omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
