the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
