As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
