Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
