new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
