...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
