So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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