so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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