i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
