...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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