She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
